Yesterday was the sickest I (Ryan) have felt in many years. I woke up in the morning with a massive stomach ache. Then almost right away I proceeded to jettisoning the chunky cargo. During the next four hours I hurled another few times. Stayed in bed with my stomach turning. Then the rest of the day I had some quality time sitting with the toilet. We really bonded. I cannot remember ever being that sick before. I started on Cipro before bed and today I am feeling a million times better. Though making sure I stay close to home.
Most everything is more difficult and harder here then in the states. Even the unseen little bacteria armies! I was sitting with my head resting against the toilet in some of the most pain I have felt in my life. During that moment yesterday, a thought popped into my head. Is this worth it? I was a bit surprised by it myself.
Is it worth it? I started to consider that maybe my mind was saying, Is it worth it for me? Good question. The statement is true, this isn’t worth it for me. But – I am not living this way for me! If I were doing something for me, I would probably not be in Haiti. It is much bigger then that – it’s about following God. It’s about giving up what we want and to serve those in need.
“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. 24 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” – Luke 9:23-24
It’s about helping another life. To serve the poor, helpless and hungry. Right now that means pouring our hearts and life into the Haitian people. We are just broken and unworthy people striving everyday to follow Him. We continue to seek what it means to take up your cross daily. I still have a hard time imagining what Jesus gave up and did for us on the cross. I can say without a doubt in my mind, that in following Him…
It is worth it.
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.– Philippians 2:3-4