Yesterday was the sickest I (Ryan) have felt in many years. I woke up in the morning with a massive stomach ache. Then almost right away I proceeded to jettisoning the chunky cargo. During the next four hours I hurled another few times. Stayed in bed with my stomach turning. Then the rest of the day I had some quality time sitting with the toilet. We really bonded. I cannot remember ever being that sick before. I started on Cipro before bed and today I am feeling a million times better. Though making sure I stay close to home.
Most everything is more difficult and harder here then in the states. Even the unseen little bacteria armies! I was sitting with my head resting against the toilet in some of the most pain I have felt in my life. During that moment yesterday, a thought popped into my head. Is this worth it? I was a bit surprised by it myself.
Is it worth it? I started to consider that maybe my mind was saying, Is it worth it for me? Good question. The statement is true, this isn’t worth it for me. But – I am not living this way for me! If I were doing something for me, I would probably not be in Haiti. It is much bigger then that – it’s about following God. It’s about giving up what we want and to serve those in need.
“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. 24 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” – Luke 9:23-24
It’s about helping another life. To serve the poor, helpless and hungry. Right now that means pouring our hearts and life into the Haitian people. We are just broken and unworthy people striving everyday to follow Him. We continue to seek what it means to take up your cross daily. I still have a hard time imagining what Jesus gave up and did for us on the cross. I can say without a doubt in my mind, that in following Him…
It is worth it.
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.– Philippians 2:3-4
12 responses to “Is it Worth It?”
Ryan, you are truly one tough dude, even though you are from Minnesota (home of the Vikings). Seriously, we hope your battle with this illness is short. May God give you the strength you need to battle this sickness. We continue to be inspired by your positive attitude and continued determination to focus on what we should be doing for God, as opposed to what he should be doing for us.
Thanks again for the vivid update on how you are doing.
John and Cathy
John – Thank you for your prayers! I wished I could watch the game Sunday! I believe I heard the Packers won… maybe that was a rumor. Just kidding 🙂 Guess I am feeling better… can joke around again! Let me know if I can continue to help you find tickets. Love your comments!
I’m glad you are better today! Well said Ryan. It’s not about us but about Him.
Kathy – Thanks for the comment! I hear you might make a visit! Very exciting! Lots of places to help out!
Yes, I hope to! Am very excited for the opportunity!
When you get married and you are so in love and you think you know what love is. But I think most people don’t really know what love is. Most of the stuff you do out of Real love you’d ask yourself that question: is it worth it. I know I didn’t know what love really looked like until I had kids. I think perhaps children change your perception in a similar way to how mission work does. Because all of the sudden it’s not about me. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s worth it to me because someone else comes first. Now to put someone else first who is not even your flesh and blood – that’s what Jesus tried to teach us. That we should put everyone else in that place ahead of ourselves. Maybe someday we’ll get it. I know with kids it comes so easily, but to make those same sacrifices for anyone else (even a spouse) is a whole different playing field and it’s not easy (at least for me). Thanks for keeping it real for the rest of us. Keep writing!
Jen – How are you doing? How is the team? I love reading your insights! I never thought about it from a kid perspective but it makes perfect sense. I agree with you, it’s not easy. It feels like a continual process of working at my heart. To become less of me. Man, I am so so thankful for health… it’s a great reminder for how much I take that for granted! It’s amazing how much better you feel after going through that!
Truly God is teaching you the whole truth about loving and serving Him and others. And, yes, being brought low before He lifts us up is just part of that process wherein we are no longer self-sufficient but must depend on Him only.
Eunice – What great words of wisdom! Am taking your words to heart and prayer. Thank you for the reminder!
Ryan, I sure you a feeling better this evening. I tried to Skype you tonight. Now I know why you might not be available. Our prayers go out to you believing God will heal you. You have a wonderful way of helping us understand what you are going through even though we really don’t totally get it. We know you will persist…. Love ya, dad
Thank you! I am feeling so much better now! It really makes you thankful for good health!
I thought I’d have to read a book for a dsivcorey like this!